Beware of things that go bump in the night

Do you ever get that peculiar feeling, like you’ve landed in the midst of a real-life Harry Potter plot?

You know, the one where your neighbour starts to seem just a tad… strange?

And not in the absent-minded professor kind of way. More like ‘could possibly turn those princes into frogs’ kind of vibe. Crazy, right?

Well, we’ve all been there. You spot a broom that looks suspiciously aerodynamic, or notice that their cat has been perched on the same branch, glaring at you, for an unsettling amount of time.

Suddenly, your mind’s racing faster than a Quidditch seeker on a Firebolt. “Is Mrs. Next-Door dabbling in the dark arts?”

And hey, no judgement here. It’s okay to be intrigued, bewildered, even a smidgen worried. After all, we’ve all wondered what’s really in that peculiar-smelling ‘herbal tea’ they’re always brewing.

So, how about we get to the bottom of this? Ready to dispel doubts or confirm your status as a top-notch witch detector?

Buckle up, dear reader. We’re about to dive into the 9 undeniable, utterly undeniable signs that your neighbour might just be a witch.

Let’s get this magical mystery tour started, shall we?

Sign 1: The Peculiar Pet Parade

Ever noticed an oddly high number of black cats, toads, or ravens lurking around your neighbour’s place?

Now, we’re not talking about Mrs. Whiskers who loves a good sunbath on the porch. It’s more like a feline SWAT team that seems to be on a 24/7 surveillance mission.

Or that raven that not only caws at the crack of dawn but seems to be fluent in Morse code.

And let’s not even get started on the suspiciously wart-covered toad.

Rather odd creatures, wouldn’t you say?

Sign 2: Garden of Bewitching Botany

Next, their front yard.

Their front yard might even give the Queen of Hearts’ garden from ‘Alice in Wonderland’ a run for its money.

But a garden that sprouts snow roses when your cactus is doing its best popsicle impression? And filled with questionable plants.

Unlike the Alnwick’s Poison Garden in England, your neighbour’s can only be described as haphazard – poisonous and harmless flowers, shrubs, herbs, weeds growing side-by-side in splendor. Visitor beware when walking on the overgrown path to the front door.

Sign 3: The Enigma of Mysterious Mail

Ever seen packages with bright red hazard labels being delivered?

Or ones that move and scream?

Being delivered by a guy in a hazmat suit?

Maybe some “Eye of Newt” or “Dragon Scales”?

Not your usual Amazon packages. Speaking of Amazon.

Sign 4: Brooms, Brooms and More Brooms

What about all those Amazon packages?  The size of a broom.

Now, cleanliness is next to godliness, but when you’re on your tenth broom for the year and it’s not even June, it’s more ‘extreme sweeping’ than ‘spring cleaning’.

Could they be running a broomstick dealership like in “Kiki’s Delivery Service”?

*For those unfamiliar, Kiki’s Delivery Service is a well-loved anime about a young witch and her broomstick delivery service. No, we’re not making this up.

Sign 5: A Symphony of Strange Scents

Then there’s the smell.

Not the lovely aroma of baking cookies, mind you. Morelike the bubbling sulphur springs of in the Rocky Mountains. Febreeze nowhere nearby. Time to get suspicious.

Sign 6: Traffic Jams and Magical Potions

Used to be a quiet neighbourhood.

That was before the old witch Mrs. Abercrombie (a transplant from Tranter’s End) paid your neighbour a visit. Came out carrying a bottle. Of what, she wouldn’t say.

Folks across the country started arriving.

Ever since that bottle incident, it’s like there’s a Charmed convention in town.

Sign 7: Hogwarts House Pride Overload

Ever spotted a flagpole in their yard flying a red and gold flag with the word “Gryffindor” embossed on it?

We’re all for Hogwarts pride, but when your neighbour’s house starts resembling the Gryffindor common room, you might just be living next to a secret wizarding school alumnus.

Sign 8: Summer Solstice Soiree Shenanigans

We all have our traditions, but if you’ve caught your neighbour dancing naked in their garden at night on the longest day of the year, you might wonder what concoction she’s been drinking.

On the other hand, when you see a dozen Tinkerbells flying around her, you wonder if your partner slipped you some.

Sign 9: A Lucky Charm or a Magical Neighbour?

Last, has your luck improved since they moved in?

Winning lottery tickets, promotions, or even unexpected pizza deliveries?

We all love flashes of good luck. But when your life starts feeling like a constant lucky streak, you might want to thank more than just your lucky stars.

Maybe thank your magical neighbour. But do it subtly. Otherwise, you may find yourself on a streak of bad luck.

Casting the Final Spell…

If your neighbour’s yard is starting to resemble a casting call for a remake of ‘The Birds,’ or their broom collection would put the Nimbus 2000 to shame, there’s a high chance you’re living next to an apprentice of Merlin himself.

And hey, no sweat! Better to have a witch on your side than against you, right? Imagine the perks! Eternal good luck, flourishing gardens, maybe even scoring some of that age-defying potion… (Hey, a neighbour can dream!)

But let’s dial it back a notch. Just because they’ve got a pet toad and enjoy midnight gardening doesn’t mean they’re plotting to turn you into a newt (that we know of).

So, maybe their cats are a bit too observant, or their deliveries could make the Amazon warehouse folks blush. Or their garden sprouts roses in winter, and yours can’t even maintain a dandelion.

Yeah, it’s weird, but isn’t that what makes life interesting? A little mystery, a dash of intrigue, and a whole lot of wondering if your neighbour’s brewing a love potion or just really bad at making soup.

So, next time you spot a broomstick delivery or get a whiff of that peculiar perfume wafting from their home, give a little wink to the mystery of it all. After all, wouldn’t you rather live next to a witch than a muggle? Just watch out for any low-flying broomstick traffic, alright?

Story written by a human with help from an assistant, ChatGPt.